There is no meaning but the meaning we create. No wonder people need comforting, if false, stories, like myths, heroic stories, religion, legends of larger-than-life scientific greats. They need comfort. I need comfort, because the truth is harsh.

The truth is… Everything has an end, nothing lasts forever, our society will end like all the ones before us, our species will go extinct like so many before us, the sun will expand/explode in 5 billion years taking the earth with it, and the universe will end in heat death. Entropy wins. Entropy ALWAYS wins.

We look out at the practically-infinite vastness of space, and it’s depressing how many years or centuries we’d have to travel with cutting edge or even science-fiction technology to explore the tiniest fraction of it.

Life has been pain and struggle since the first DNA molecule struggled to replicate itself against the forces of entropy threatening to tear it apart. Not out of malice, just the forces of disorganization. Entropy. Things fall apart.

I long for connection, for empathy, which is lacking in our modern society – I want connection with other brains like mine, non neurotypical brains, even though it’s ultimately impossible to really put thoughts into words or to truly know what it’s like in someone else’s skull. I feel … disconnected, lonely in the crowd, unsure even of what I mean by “connection”.

And then I got up this morning and walked to the gas station. I felt the cold air, the sunshine. It’s amazing how comforting a hot cup of coffee can be on a chilly fall morning.

I saw people of all kinds gathering at the local watering hole before their varied, potentially mundane workdays. Saw… community. I texted with some good friends, and the contents of those conversations turned into this post.

Funny how the big “meaning of life” things turned out to be lies, and the small pleasures turn out to be the most profound. No, I’m not going to live forever, and I will probably be forgotten pretty quickly, and everything I do in life will crumble to dust.

But in this brief moment, I am enjoying the sunshine, and my animal brain is happy.