The Recovering Cultist

I read about molecules and dinosaurs and our natural world as a kid, I taught myself computer programming at 12 because I wanted to write my own video games. I love STEM, did well in school, was curious, asked questions, was a self-motivated learner, good … “Compartmentalization”

There will never be another you. You were perfect, from the day you were born, to the day you died. Absolutely perfect. You were my whole world, and my everything. I was so in love with you. I couldn’t imagine life without you! I wish … “There will never be another you”

Current mood. I wanted to have eternity to ponder the science of creating universes with the mind of a God. I wanted to have eternity to live in love with my sweetheart in our best, perfect bodies, having all the sex and enjoying our loved … “What I wanted vs what I have”

Why is the second year harder? I don’t know why. There may not BE an answer. My ex moved out last year. I was heartbroken, and I’d cry, and then I’d get angry, and use the anger to go get stuff done, like heavy gym … “The second year”

I am currently coming to grips with the fact that I am alone. Alone in my head, my heart. No one else truly knows what it’s like in my head. No one else will ever truly understand what it’s like to be me. No one … “Alone”

“Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of those that die.” Divorce: the gift that keeps on giving. They say it’s worse than a death, and I believe them. I’ve been grieving for a little over a year … “Divorce = Death”

Ok, so I’m in a legal state, naked hot spring, get high and soak for awhile. And then I realize I’m sad. Sad about my divorce, what could have been, losing my love and my faith both in a short amount of time. I’ve been … “Baptism”